Nudging Influence

Nudge: To touch or push gently; to pester or nag; to urge into action; to prod lightly; to give encouragement or a reminder
– Merriam Webster

Can you sense when someone needs a gentle nudge or reminder to make something happen, or take care of a task? What about self nudging? Are there times when you have to enlist self-talk to get moving or change the dynamic of an activity? I know I do, often!

“There’s a saying that goes, ‘The universe gives you a whisper, then a nudge, then a push and then an anvil on your head.’” – Sara Genn

Just recently, my oldest son bought his first home. He took a week off from work to accomplish the tasks of packing, moving and setting up his new place. He works very hard, so when he has a day off he likes to unplug and forget about work for awhile. When vacation started, he wanted to unwind with some of his favorite activities. I could see that his enthusiasm for his new place was alive but buried a bit and he might need a little nudging to get things moving forward. I suggested that he just move a few things over the first day. Success! That buried excitement just needed a buddy to say “hey, let’s go do this together.” I could see that simply suggesting one thing at a time was easier to digest and manage. Once that got things in motion, we took each additional step, one at a time.

We went shopping for incidentals (garbage bags, toilet paper, cleaning products, etc.), then the next day it was shopping for furniture and so on. I knew he only had the week to get everything the way he wanted, at least enough to be inhabitable, and that meant making sure things were getting done each day. Once the momentum got going, his excitement mounted and he was feeling his own creativity in arranging the house the way he wanted. I was grateful to be his encourager, especially when he said “thanks, Mom, for nudging me to get these things done.” He is in full swing of this “rite of passage” in his life and it is fun to be a part of it.

“If a stick is floating down a river and gets stuck, it doesn’t need years of therapy. It just needs a little nudge and then it will get back into the flow of the river.” – Michael Neill

Now, what about self-nudging? What about those times when we need our internal “nudge” to compel us to strive for excellence or to do something better? I got caught up in doing some deep cleaning in our home and came across the return air vent covers. You know, the ones that have teeny tiny ridges in the panel that love to collect dust? As I was cleaning each little ridge, I was excited about the shine I was revealing under that layer of dust. Well, there are a lot of little ridges in those vent covers. I also wasn’t planning on spending a laborious amount of time cleaning them. Ha! I could see that it would look clean and bright to the normal eye (if anyone even bothered to look that closely at the panel). Underneath the lip, however, you had to get in further to clean it out completely. At first it was easy to think “no one will ever know or notice, it’s okay to just get the surface portion.” Well, a little nudge inside me said “but you will know it isn’t completely clean, and you’ll have more buildup on it the next time.”

Since I like and appreciate true cleanliness and order, the inner nag knew I needed to be reminded or nudged to strive for just a little bit more. Maybe that particular job wasn’t as significant as some others but it’s the underlying principle. If we aren’t willing to give just a bit more we will never know the difference that can be made or the effect that can be achieved.

“So, what’s a nudge? A nudge is some small feature of the environment that attracts our attention and alters our behavior.” – Richard Thaler

The principle is to always strive for excellence, not error, and to listen to and let the nudgers (others or your own internal) influence gently encourage you to create change and make a difference.