Finding the Extra in the Ordinary

Life happens all around us, moment by moment, with or without our noticing. Most of it is ordinary. We get up, do morning routines, go to work, communicate with others, interact on social media, see or talk to family members. We come home, do evening routines, maybe help kids with homework, take care of animals, take care of our homes, cars and such. These all sound pretty common and ordinary, right? So where’s the extra in all that? There is an “extra” element to be noticed inside this seeming non-extraordinary existence. There is a wisdom to be gained from the simple, day-to-day activities that we claim as ordinary.

Sun lighting a child’s hair. A friend’s embrace. Slow dancing in a safe and quiet place. The pleasures of an ordinary life. – Judith Viorst

The extra comes in the simple moments of noticing what’s happening in the middle of the ordinary. Parents come home from working a long day. There are children to take care of, and lots of extra tasks to do. Preparing food, eating, cleaning up. Preparing for bedtime. Baths. In these activities the extra that is found could be order, discipline, skill development, love, patience. Sometimes tempers flare. It’s what happens after those moments that counts. Whether you talk through issues or ignore them, the extra is what’s happening to you and those around you.

Extra happens when someone offers the bigger slice of pie to their friend, or when you see someone struggling to carry too much and another offers assistance, or stopping for a moment (or an hour) to listen to the emotionally wounded.

Making someone feel like they belong is an extra. It shows grace and kindness. Don’t be so preoccupied that you miss an opportunity to make someone else feel important. Being understood is one of the most profound things people seek.

One of the hardest things I see people deal with is their own fear—fear to get out of their comfort zone and do something new, something perhaps that many consider ordinary, but maybe out of the ordinary for them! Taking just one step in a different direction can turn a sullen, scared or bored attitude into a brilliant smile. That’s making the ordinary come alive!

The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. —Thomas Moore

A simple hug can bring warmth, safety, a sense of belonging, love and understanding. It’s an ordinary gesture that sometimes provides an extra unexpected feeling.

Keep making the ordinary come alive! Instead of constantly striving for the extraordinary, try finding the wonder and magic in ordinary living. Experience the taste of a juicy peach or tomato. Feel the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. Feel the tears of sadness and the sinking heart of anguish. Watch that same heart pound with excitement and anticipation of the next ecstatic moment. Watch and listen to what is going on around you. Notice the subtle nuances of others. See their joy, their frustration, happiness or disappointment. Feel the power in the moment when someone “gets you.” Then do this for another.

Talk less, listen more. You can’t learn anything when you’re doing all the talking. Keep making the extra come alive by finding the wonder and magic in the ordinary.

One of my favorite memories of finding the extra in the ordinary is when I was mowing our two acres with a riding mower. My young son wanted to ride on the mower with me. Once he was positioned on my lap he wanted to take the wheel and mow the yard. Well, I had begun a very nice even line pattern in the grass and thought I would instruct him to “follow the path.” Then something magical happened. He had a different idea. He wanted to freestyle it and let the mower go wherever his little heart and arms desired. It was all over the place! It took me a minute to get over “my way is the right way” thinking and let the joy and brilliance of his inspired method bring laughter and happiness to both of us. It was a chance for him to feel leadership, freedom and accomplishment. And I learned that my way wasn’t the only way, and that we could both discover extra in the ordinary. The icing on the cake is that he now owns his own lawn care business and is still doing it his way.

I am forever chasing light. Light turns the ordinary into the magical.
— Trent Parke

One of my other favorite sayings came from my other son. After we made time for a rather deep discussion, he was so filled with happiness that he burst out, saying, “I love you so much, I can’t even stop!” It is one of the most precious ways I’ve ever heard someone describe this feeling. That’s what I call finding the extra in the ordinary.