Mastering Patience
From the time you were young you no doubt heard many instances of “be patient,” “wait your turn” or “in a minute.” In an ever-evolving world of “get in now,” “hurry up” and the illusory promise of “instant gratification,” it can be difficult to experience patience when all you may feel is frustration or agitation. As different situations demonstrate, however, it is better to master patience early. Otherwise you may fall into a trap of constant or frequent states of unrest and dissatisfaction.
Recently, I was playing a game called Word Crossy. The game gives the player seven letters and a grid. The aim is to fill in the grid with words made from the seven letters. If you can’t figure it out you can either buy “clues” with real money or you can spend 30 seconds of your time watching a commercial to earn points, which can be converted for clues. The clue is a letter placed on the grid to help you figure out the word(s) in question.
Some games are super-easy and you guess the answers rather quickly. Other games are more challenging. One particular day I had a very challenging game. The letters provided seemed ridiculous. How many words can you create with only one vowel and duplicate consonants, anyway? There were spaces for a lot more words than I thought possible, for sure. Yet, as I continued staring at the blank spaces and the letters provided, I thought this is a puzzle that already has a predetermined outcome. So, no matter how impossible I thought it would be to create unique words to fit these spaces, I knew the answers were there. I just had to continue thinking, moving letters around, looking at all the possible combinations until the correct words were revealed. Sometimes this required pausing and walking away for awhile. Usually, when I returned to the game, the answers came more easily, when before they seemed terribly confusing or daunting. Sometimes it required asking someone else for help, too. Whenever that happened, it was a chance to make someone else feel good about giving support or being a part of my fun!
“The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.” — Croft M. Pentz
Naturally, this act reminded me how much life is like a word puzzle. Patience is such an important part of our existence. The answers to all of our questions, concerns, frustrations, surprises, highs and lows already exist. We take each breath one at a time, engage in one conversation at a time, take up one activity at a time, live one day at a time, and so on. When life is the puzzle, we get up each day and look at what is before us. Sometimes it’s a day full of things to do, places to be and people to see. Other days it’s a blank grid, leaving you uncertain what the day may have in store. Either way, we get up, get ready and move toward life as it unfolds before us.
When things are calm, peaceful or happy, we don’t think much about the plan that’s been laid out. Nothing seems or feels difficult at the moment. Those are the moments to pause and take notice of what calm, peace and happiness feels like. Really let it wash over you with intentional awareness. It does exist even when we don’t think it does. That’s the fuel that fills the tank for future moments, when we are doubting that a situation or action can be happy or peace-filled.
Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.
Just like my word game, you have clues available to help you in life. You cannot read minds, but you can get assistance to help you through a rough spot, talking with a friend or mentor. You can rearrange the information that is available and look at it in a different light. Fresh insight can come even with something familiar. When it doesn’t look like you can make much out of what you have, walk away and come back with a clear head and you will see things you didn’t notice before. In the game, sometimes a word that you didn’t even know the definition of is the answer. There is a dictionary for such words to prove they exist—even if you don’t like or agree with the meaning of it. So in life, there is meaning in everything even though it may not always make sense to you. Trust the process. Trust the plan. Ask for support. Keep moving forward until the answers are revealed. One piece at a time. One moment at a time. Then you will begin to master the art of patience.
“Don’t rush anything. When the time is right, it will happen.” — Buddha